Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.

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  (405): i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college. http://tfl.nu/j0w5
  Replies (58) Good night (6335) Bad night (742)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.

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  (612): I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy. http://tfl.nu/yhkq
  Replies (23) Good night (3354) Bad night (1568)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?

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  (314): I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university? http://tfl.nu/bxwk
  Replies (37) Good night (6208) Bad night (748)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.

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  (801): i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away. http://tfl.nu/p1dq
  Replies (20) Good night (2961) Bad night (3918)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?

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  (904): Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care? http://tfl.nu/9o7b
  Replies (25) Good night (4705) Bad night (2499)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro

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  (864): idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro http://tfl.nu/28z8
  Replies (8) Good night (3818) Bad night (819)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory

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  (252): He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory http://tfl.nu/jj42
  Replies (20) Good night (1305) Bad night (4734)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.

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  (717): It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me. http://tfl.nu/ym25
  Replies (9) Good night (885) Bad night (1204)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"

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  (704): Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen" http://tfl.nu/5w2n
  Replies (5) Good night (1053) Bad night (676)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.

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  (309): Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate. http://tfl.nu/i08u
  Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (411)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.

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  (706): My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up. http://tfl.nu/hq93
  Replies (16) Good night (1495) Bad night (412)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...

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  (208): Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return... http://tfl.nu/xy3e
  Replies (5) Good night (661) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up

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  (785): i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up http://tfl.nu/9i7j
  Replies (6) Good night (705) Bad night (225)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.

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  (616): I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like. http://tfl.nu/l89u
  Replies (8) Good night (603) Bad night (412)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.

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  (860): My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude. http://tfl.nu/4dzv
  Replies (2) Good night (379) Bad night (308)

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