you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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