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have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
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