is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.