last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!