OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.