I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
