Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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