What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
