dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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