I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
