and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
