I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
