I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
