But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
