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• (305): View more from Florida

  Can I come over?

  (786): View more from Florida

  Can't... I'm at class right now.

  (305): View more from Florida

  No your not

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm outside by your car.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing

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• (315): View more from New York

  I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background

  (443): View more from Maryland

  that only happened once.

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• (1-415): View more from California

  What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?

  (415): View more from California

  Irish Spring?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.

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• (585): View more from New York

  You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices

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