If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
