"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
