I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
