So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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