my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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