Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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