she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
