That's intense
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
