hell yes lets make some ravioli
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
