i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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