guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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