blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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