walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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