I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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