ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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