I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize