The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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