Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
