Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
