problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
