i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Houston, we have a blender
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
