so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
