i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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