i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
