He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
