Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
