Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
