i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
