THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
