Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
