you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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