I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
