my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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