i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
