idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize