I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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