It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
