doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
