Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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