i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
