I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
thus making me awesome and them whores
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
