where am i from again
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize