Are we in a gay sports bar?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
